People often say that things change when you have kids. They say your body will change and your relationships will change.
There was a time when life was different. I look back at pictures and I barely recognize myself before kids.
I was 40+ pounds lighter. But I worked out all the time. I didn’t have a job and I barely ate. I was only worried about my 4.0 GPA and drinking.
My relationships before kids was based on college parties and who was friends with my friends.
That’s how I met my husband. We were in the same group of friends.
Then life happened.There are things that I miss about my relationship with my husband before we had kids. I'm not afraid to say them! Click To Tweet
Before kids, things were different. But I never expected them to be this different. You read about being a parent in all the books on parenting, but nothing prepares you for what it really feels like. Nothing prepares you for the sleepless nights or the weeks without time alone with your husband.
Here are things I miss about us before kids.
We Were Young
Before kids, we had a ton of energy. Even when I was working and my husband wasn’t, we still had the energy to do things. Our house was constantly clean and we went out often.
We have a mutual friend who played in a band. They would play at a local bar from about 11pm to 2am sometimes. We went to every show to support our friend. He was even a groomsman at our wedding.
When we had kids, this stopped. It was always a hassle to get a babysitter. Not to mention the fact that we were both typically in bed by 9 or 10. When you work all day and take care of the kids at night, it certainly takes a toll on your body and mind.
We Slept When We Wanted
I miss sleeping. I miss snuggling up with my husband at 2pm on a Saturday just to take a nap because we didn’t have anything to do.
Now, my naps are based around my kids. If they are up, then I’m definitely up. Or my husband is up with the boys so I can sleep. But that means I’m not snuggling. Even nap time is different.
I miss snuggling with my husband.
We Could Kiss or Hug (or Other Stuff 😊)
I know, I can always kiss my husband or hug him. The other stuff takes a bit more planning. This morning, I tried to kiss my husband while trying to get ready for work.
My son yelled, “That’s enough kisses!”
This is a constant occurrence and it kind of annoys me. I know my son is going through this phase and he will probably always be “grossed out” when his mom and dad kiss, but I just want to kiss my husband without interruption. I think I need to go on a vacation with my husband again.
Some might just say, “Do that stuff when your kids go to sleep.”
Well, my friend, I’m exhausted by the time I get into bed.
There comes a time in your life when there is no turning back. A time when the past is just that…the past. And you can only look to the future for hope. Being a parent is awesome! It’s difficult and there are tons of things you do wrong; but in the end, the only thing you can do is your best.
Alesia is a working mom who fights her way through life, depression, and just plain stupidity. She strives to show others that it is possible to be a bad-ass while you feel like you’re losing your mind. A Bottle of Sanity is a space in which working moms may find easy recipes, parenting tips, and sanity.