Life is not always easy. Relationships can be difficult. They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But what if that man doesn’t eat the things you do? What if he’s a vegetarian and you just aren’t?
Welcome to my world. Welcome to the Vegivore-Carnitarian family!
My husband has been a vegetarian by choice for 6 months and counting. When I inform people of this, they typically ask, “Do you eat meat?”
I enthusiastically respond, “Hell yeah!”
But how do we make this work?
A conflict of interest can be a strain to the budget, the cook, and our relationship. But we’ve somehow found a way that works for both of us.
Strain on the Budget
This was one of my greatest fears when my husband decided to become a vegetarian. I was worried that the we would spend all our money on fresh vegetables. How do we make it work then?
Before the change to vegetarian, our weekly budget was $100 a week for two adults and a toddler.
After one month of trying to buy more fresh fruits, veggies, healthy snacks, and NO meat, our budget jumped to $150 per week. I couldn’t believe it.
We found that most of the fresh vegetables ended up going bad in the refrigerator so I decided to go with frozen veggies and only fresh fruits. I stopped worrying about buying special chips and such and now I’m able to spend that money on meat for me!
Our weekly budget is back down to about $100 per week.
Strain on our Relationship
This part was a little difficult for us to get through. I didn’t understand why my husband had decided to eat meat. He didn’t understand why I would want to eat meat.
I have one word for you-compromise.
By being able to compromise, we’ve somehow made this work in our relationship. We disagree, yes; but we don’t let our disagreement get in the way of our care for each other.
Many people believe that marriage is some sort of mystical thing that just happens. But marriage-true marriage-takes time and effort. You have to be willing to compromise and find a happy medium for both of you.
It’s not easy. But in the grand scheme of things, would I want something like meat to ruin my relationship with my husband? Absolutely not! That’s ridiculous. And if I did let something as petty as meat ruin my relationship then maybe there are some other underlying issues which we are not addressing as a couple.
So what have we done?
I don’t judge (outwardly) or make comments about the fact that my husband doesn’t want to eat meat. I still offer it to him out of hospitality and curiosity, but I don’t push my food on him.
He extends the same common courtesy to me. He doesn’t make jokes about brutality toward chickens or cows and he simply accepts that this is my choice. And I accept his.How does a Vegetarian and Carnivore make a marriage work? Read on to find out! Click To Tweet
Strain on the Cook
I also get asked, “How does meal planning work if you eat different things?”
We don’t always eat different things. I’m fine having a Spinach Lasagna Rollup some days. Here are a few other ideas we’ve implemented.
- Veggie burger vs Beef burger (I cook his first so that it doesn’t get the taste of beef)
- Chicken Alfredo Linguine with Spinach on the side (I add the chicken to mine after I serve his plate)
- Black bean or lentil tacos (for both of us)
- Black bean and sweet potato chili (yum!)
These are just a few of the ways we’ve made it work in the kitchen. We still find ways to cook together and my husband will still throw some chicken in the crock pot even if he won’t be eating it.
In the end, I think we’ve both learned a lot through this experience. Our relationship is stronger and we’ve also found ways to diversify our meals.
Is there something you have to compromise on to make your relationship work?
Alesia is a working mom who fights her way through life, depression, and just plain stupidity. She strives to show others that it is possible to be a bad-ass while you feel like you’re losing your mind. A Bottle of Sanity is a space in which working moms may find easy recipes, parenting tips, and sanity.