Whether you are a working mom or a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), we all deal with guilt. That guilt can make us do unreasonable things sometimes. Maybe we have given up on a life long dream so that we can provide for our kids. Or perhaps we feel guilty about the pile of dishes building up in our sink.
I’m going to be completely honest with you. I deal with working mom guilt. In a lot of areas of my life.Working mom guilt can be toxic to the person you are. Click To Tweet
As a mom who already deals with depression and anxiety, it’s easy to let guilt make me feel like a terrible mom. I have to continuously remind myself that I am a good mom.
What makes me (and you!) a great mom?
I give parenting my all. I give my mornings to getting my son ready to get out of the house. He must be presentable for daycare or his grandmother. I work at my 8-5 job so that he can have diapers and food. Then we figure out dinner.
Side note: Have you ever tried to figure out dinner with a two-year-old? Well, if you haven’t then this is the way it goes. I go through a list of food items. “Do you want chicken and broccoli?” “No.” “Well what do you want for dinner?” “Macaroni and Cheese.” Then we proceed to make Mac & Cheese which he takes two bites of then yells that he is done. That is dinner with a toddlerist.
A dinner which usually ends in him not eating and me feeling like a failure of a parent because I let my frustration get the best of me. We then hang out until my husband gets home from work and then it’s bed time for my toddler.
I try to be the best parent I can be. And quite frankly, that’s all I can really do. I can only give this thing my very best. And it’s ok if the very best I have to offer isn’t good enough some days. I teach my son through example and love. That’s what makes me a great mom.
What Working Mom Guilt I Deal With
I deal with working mom guilt. I feel guilty about so many things in my life. Here are just a few examples:
Guilty that my dishes aren’t done
Some days I am on top of my game. All the dishes are done. My son has eaten a normal meal. And I’m not wearing pajamas from two nights ago. I may have actually put on clothes.
These days are few and far between. They don’t seem to happen very often. Maybe once a month, I feel like supermom.
On the normal days, I don’t feel very much like supermom. I’m busy. I don’t always make time for my home, my son, my husband, or myself. Some days my son has to pull me off the couch to play with him. I feel terrible in moments like that. But I’m exhausted because my energy is being pulled in so many directions.
Who needs dishes anyway? Paper plates for everyone!
It’s ok to be tired, Mama. And it’s ok to not have your life organized the way you imagined it would be. You don’t have to be that mom. I certainly won’t judge you for it and I’m pretty sure there are plenty of other moms out there who won’t judge you either.
You got this! I’ve got this!
Guilty that I want wine all day long
Because wine. Enough said there, right? Not even close.
I like wine. As if you couldn’t tell from the title of my website.
When I was in college, I barely had a care in the world. I would do two shooters before going into class. I would skip class to go driving with my friends. Somehow I still maintained a 3.8GPA.
Being a responsible adult can be so boring sometimes. Those days were some pretty awesome days!
I’m a mom now. I’m a wife. I’m pregnant with my second kid. I’m going to be a mom times two.
Ahhh! Ok. Panic attack over.
I am a responsible adult. And I make sure I take care of my son, husband, and unborn baby. It’s boring sometimes, but there is also so much joy in having a family. I love my family and the daily things I deal with are worth having them in my life.
Plus, I can still have wine with dinner or on the weekend (after baby is born).
Guilty that I don’t feel guilty about being a working mom
And you know what I’ve found? That’s OK.
I don’t have to feel guilty that I enjoy leaving my house and going to work.
I don’t have to feel guilty that I have zero desire to be a stay at home mom.
And that’s OK.
That guilt that builds up is just me thinking that I have to be like other moms. The truth of the matter is that I need to be the best mom I can be.
It’s so easy to compare yourself to other mom’s. As long as you do your very best, there’s not much else you can do. Being a mom isn’t about how clean your house is, if dinner is on time, or if your kid’s clothes match.
It’s about providing for your kid. That doesn’t just look like a job either. As a mom, I provide emotional and mental support for my toddler when he has a breakdown. I provide love and affection when he gets hurt. I give him high fives when he does something awesome or helps me with something.
Providing for your child looks like that.
Being a mom isn’t easy. It is a sacrifice full of tears and long nights. But if you give it your best, you are an awesome mom. No amount of mom guilt can change that fact.
Do you struggle with mom guilt? How do you overcome it?
Alesia is a working mom who fights her way through life, depression, and just plain stupidity. She strives to show others that it is possible to be a bad-ass while you feel like you’re losing your mind. A Bottle of Sanity is a space in which working moms may find easy recipes, parenting tips, and sanity.